We decide who we are in this world not once but with every action we take, every principle we value, and every rule we choose to follow.
Michael Nelson (in Good Choices Good Life) said: “life doesn’t just happen. Instead, our lives are defined by the choices we make. Some of these choices are ours, and other people make some choices, and we accept those decisions and follow along” and, “You, or someone around you, choose what the next thought, the next comment, or activity will be. Whether you elect to let someone make these choices for you – or you make the choices yourself – you develop as an individual according to the choices that guide or influence your life”.
Without question, everyone is a unique, one-of-a-kind combination of physical characteristics, personal interests, and emotions that collectively define you as an individual. However, it’s not this special package that determines the enjoyment and effectiveness of your life, but how you choose to use it. A dear friend recently said: “We are all prisoners of our own personality.” We cannot escape from our DNA, our frame of reference, or who we are.
Building Autus over the past 20 plus years, I had so many conversations about life, faced many challenges and experiences along the road, had many joyful moments as well as disappointments. Experience and age shape you differently and make you think about what is essential and how valuable time is. Early in my career, I used to be close to a perfectionist. I tried my best to satisfy others and sometimes neglected what was necessary. As time passed and my frame of reference grew while getting older, I realised what matters and what is a waste of time – although I still make mistakes and pay school fees.
Reading numerous articles (credit to Lifehack & Simple Home) and listening to others, I asked myself what life lessons to cherish (and wish I had this insight many years ago) and came up with the following:
- Time and health are your most valuable assets. They are both invaluable treasures and must be appreciated, nurtured, and protected.
- Don’t take anything for granted. We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: Nothing in life is guaranteed (except death and paying tax) to be there tomorrow. Life can change in an instant – Make sure you appreciate what you have while you still have it.
- Money is a commodity used to buy necessities and “nice to have” stuff. Still, money cannot fix a broken relationship or cure loneliness, or purchase time or health.
You can get there – don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold; take time to weigh your options. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Making plans is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and an excellent way to miss your life as it passes.
- You can’t please everyone. You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, be liked, respected, and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek – ignore them.
- Let it go – don’t regret anything of the past because there is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday – that is history. Instead, look forward to what’s coming next.
- Don’t compare because you don’t always get what you want – No matter how carefully you plan and work hard, sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to. You are unique in your way, and always compare yourself with others, and their belongings, won’t change reality.
- Nobody has all the answers – We have this idea that there is some shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go; that’s life. Besides – nobody likes a know-it-all.
- You are not the epicentre of the world – It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.
- Smile and stay calm. While we may not have control of the things around us, we do control how we let them into our lives and how we choose to respond. Smiling reduces stress, putting those around you at ease, thereby making potentially complicated situations easier to handle. But smiling is more for you than anyone else. It keeps you cool and calm and puts you back into the present moment when you realise you’re still ok.
- Your character is what counts, and your reputation is how others judge you. May their verdict be an accurate reflection of the truth.
I have learned that I still have a lot to learn.
The year has nearly come to an end, and with that, this is our last Old Dog article for the year. We wish you a happy festive season. Stay safe.
